claire purnell

I think there’s something really important about looking into a kid’s eyes. They know a world of pure joy, a world where their biggest fear is an imaginary monster hiding under their bed. They live in a world where they see good in everyone, especially themselves. A world where they will always be loved by everyone and the possibility of not being loved does not even cross their mind. The only pain they feel is a bruise they got from having too much fun playing with their friends. There is hope in their eyes. There is emotion. Their eyes see no reason to ever hide their emotions. There is love. There is happiness. Their eyes are full of reasons they love being a part of this world. They are full of innocence.

Ten years later look into the same person’s eyes and I can assure you, you will not be able to find the same person. Not easily at least. Over the past ten years this person has spent every day building a wall. The wall separates the outside, what everyone sees, from the inside, what they hide from everyone. This wall hides an abundant amount of emotions. This wall is a jail. The only emotion ever easily allowed to escape the wall is happiness, whether it is genuine or fake. It is what people want to see so we give it to them. This wall, it is not strong enough. This wall, it will crash. All the burdens hiding behind it will seep through somehow. When they are let out, we go crazy. We do not know how to handle this. How are we supposed to let go of pain that is caused by never being loved back by the people you love? How are we supposed to deal with the pain of constantly being compared to people, but NEVER being good enough. All these emotions are prisoners. They will eventually gang up and tear the wall they’ve been stuck behind down.

Even our tears age along with us. Girls tears turn black from all the makeup we wear to cover up our face which we believe is not pretty enough for the world to see. Boys tears turn into a drink inside a bottle and are consumed and stored back inside again. But we all reach a point where we go numb. The tears stop leaving our eyes. We’ve been hurt so many times that our eyes and our feelings are unaffected. We’ve been the strong one for so long, and no one lends a hand to the strong ones. We’re kicked around and expected to keep smiling, keep our eyes bright and happy but they are losing color. They are losing color so quickly and so easily but no one can tell. Our eyes no longer see a bright world; they see darkness. They are dull and colorless and that is how they see everything.


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