Hi friends! I know I haven’t blogged in ages but I’m happy to say I am back and I feel so inspired and I have tons of ideas so it looks like I’ll be blogging more often!
Today I’m going to share with you all the MOST IMPORTANT lessons I’ve learned in my 18 years of life. Maybe 18 years isn’t a lot, but I feel like I’m a pretty old soul and I’ve been through a lot in a little bit of time. However, I am no life master or Dalai Lama, I am just an 18 (actually as I’m writing this i’m still 17, but I’m posting this on my birthday) year old girl with a wordpress account, a love for ayurveda & astrology & reiki, a truster of the universe, a spirit junkie in the making, a lover of sunshine & flowers, an ice dancer and a dog lover. So take these tips as you will. I hope they can help you in your lives as they have in mine.
10 Things I’ve Learned in my 18 Years
- You can only rely on yourself for your happiness.
For a long time I put all my happiness on others. If she wants to hang out with me on Saturday, then I will be happy. If he calls me every night, I will be loved and therefore I will be happy. I always relied on only others to make me happy, which lead to relationships not working out. When I learned that I have to love and be happy with myself first, not only did my relationships improve, but I found an inner peace and inner happiness that will always be a part of me. While you may have that special someone who you feel so full around, who you feel completes you, who makes you laugh…he/she could disappear in any second. Then who would you be? You would be whoever you decide to be. You would still be loved and you would still be content because it comes from within. Friends, partners, flings, will just be that extra dose of fun and happiness to add on to what you already have, and if the relationship or friendship ends, it is more than okay because you still have yourself and your own love and happiness to go back to. This idea changed my life.
- Take life five minutes at a time.
Hi, my name is Claire and I’m a recovering control freak. But seriously guys, planning has been my crack. Anytime I felt upset or anxious in the past I went to my planner and just started trying to plan my life. I did this because I thought, Okay if I know this is going to happen then I know I will be okay and I will be happy and safe. I spent so much time worrying if I will be happy and okay BECAUSE I WASN’T AT THE TIME. By spending every second of the present worrying about being happy in the future, I never actually felt that happiness I craved. Because life happens in the present. When I started getting more spiritual and connecting to my highest self, I realized that I have zero control over what is going to happen in the future so I better focus on making the present as fulfilling as I can. I was listening to an ALMOST30 podcast and the guest, Loretta Breuning said, “Take life five minutes at a time”. Take each five minutes, think of what goal you can achieve in those five minutes, achieve it and be content. Say you’re lying in bed reading, in the next five minutes you decide you will read a few more pages, then close your book and go to bed. So you do that and there you go, you have achieved your goal in the moment and that is what you can control and that brings you peace and happiness. Taking life five minutes at a time has been so helpful to me and has also brought me inner peace.
- The Universe has a plan for you.
This one kind of ties in with my last tip. Recently I read The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer. This book completely changed how I see my thoughts and myself and the entire world. We spend so much time trying to avoid pain by planning or trying to control our lives when really if we let ourselves just feel the thing and trust the universe, life becomes flowing and free and EASIER. The Universe knows what it is doing and learning to trust that has taken a huge weight off my shoulders. I no longer have a burning feeling inside me to control my future or my life because I know the universe has already done it and it will be better than anything I could have ever written in my planner.
- Good friends are SO important.
While I am all for your happiness coming from within and not relying on others to supply you with happiness, I do think good friends are still so important to a positive life. Friendships are even better when you love yourself first because you can give and receive so much more in the relationship while not depending on it 100%. Good friends should make you laugh so hard you cry, cry so hard together that you laugh, love you unconditionally, share stories with you, listen when you need them, know you will always be there for them, just be that person that makes you feel complete. If someone came in mind while you were reading that, keep that person close because they are a keeper.
- Nobody is permanent in our lives.
Unfortunately in my life, I’ve lost a lot of my closest friends through moves or changing schools. Through this, I have learned no one in your life is permanent (other than you). But every single person in your life is there when they need to be. For example, last winter Luke and I were not able to train due to injury and I really struggled with this. I felt like I had no purpose and that I was nothing. At the worst of this I met someone and we started dating. This made me feel (a false) sense of purpose and I had something to keep my going. Once we got back to training, I was happier and had my life back and soon after that the relationship ended. The universe knows that there is so much more for me right now and that relationship would not fit in my life right now like it did before. That does not mean I regret it, it just means it had its purpose and that person served me in that point of my life and now it doesn’t anymore, and that’s more than okay! People come and go as it serves you and your life. Change is the only thing that will remain constant in our lives.
- If you see something beautiful in someone, say it.
You know that one drunk girl who tells you, “Girl, you are just so beautiful like it’s actually insane. Like you should totally model if you don’t already, which I’m sure you do because like look at you. YOU’RE STUNNING!” Yeah hi, that’s me. Except I don’t just say it to say it and I don’t just say it if I don’t mean it. I am such a huge advocate for women supporting women and building each other up as females. When I was younger, I felt so threatened when other girls looked good, had nice bodies or perfect hair but I learned that someone else’s beauty never takes away nor adds to your own. She can be beautiful and I can be beautiful at the exact same time in the exact same place… CRAZY right? I love when I compliment a girl and I can see on her face how much it means to her because I can almost guarantee she is always in her own head criticizing herself for the same thing I think is so special and stunning. If you notice someone is working really hard and you admire it, SAY IT. TELL THEM. I can almost assure you that nothing bad will ever come of telling someone when you admire something about them.
- More reading, Less phone.
I feel like I don’t even need to explain this one. I bet just about all of you know that feeling you get when you’re scrolling through social media and you realize you missed out on a party, the guy you like is with some other girl who has gorgeous hair and a nice butt, and the kid who sat next to you in math just got a full ride to harvard…yeah not a fun feeling. I notice when I read, i don’t feel that feeling and I’m way more entertained and at peace in my mind. So yeah, maybe I sound like my grandmother but put the phone down and pick up a book.
- Every problem or negative thought you have seems so much worse when you’re lying in bed.
I think about all the times I had panic attacks, suicidal thoughts, and just chest-tightening anxiety and so many of them happened when I was lying in bed thinking or on my phone (another reason to incorporate my last tip). I’ve had times where I was lying in bed and thought, Oh my god. I have no purpose in life. I’m just a waste of space. I have done nothing. But then I got up (maybe the next morning) and stepped outside and realized, wait…nothing actually happened. Nothing went wrong, my mind just ran off with these thoughts and in my head everything became so big but really nothing changed. Everything is okay. So if you’re lying in bed and having a downwards spiral in your mind get up and go for a walk or play with your dog and realize the earth is still there as beautiful as ever, your dog loves you unconditionally, and you are okay.
- Always have a pet.
I somehow went 16 years without a dog or cat or anything (fish don’t count) and I honestly have no idea how i managed. For the past year and a half of my life, my dog has been the best thing ever in my life. Every day I wake up and I am so grateful to see my little puffball lying right next to me. I have never loved anyone like I love her and I never will. She is my little ray of sunshine and if you don’t have your own then you need to get on that.
- Household tips/ Girl tips
- To wash makeup brushes: mix olive oil & dish soap in a dish, soak the brush in the mixture then rinse off with water and leave it to dry-it’s magical.
- Cleaning pots & pans: If there’s burnt residue on your pans, sprinkle the content of a tide pod onto the pan, and add a tiny bit of water and let it sit. This will loosen up what is stuck to the pan, then use an S.O.S pad to scrub it all off.
- Shaving: If you get razor bumps, try rubbing a tiny bit of olive oil in the area you’re going to shave, let it soak into your skin for a bit then shave and you’ll find that it leave the area much smoother.
- Phone & sleep: sleep with your phone on the other side of the room so you don’t go on it first thing when you wake up and so you have to get up to turn your alarm off which prevents falling back asleep.
I hope these tips can be helpful to your lives just as they are to mine! If you find any of these work for you, please let me know in the comments, send me an email at clairepurnell2@gmailcom or contact me through instagram @health.4.happiness! All my love guys!