How to be more positive?
I think the first step to being more positive overall is to first allow yourself to acknowledge what makes you feel not so positive. Usually, when I am not my most positive self, it is because I am afraid of something (sadness, not being successful, being alone). However, when I allow myself to acknowledge those fears and then let them go, knowing the universe has my back, I am able to feel the peace to get into a more positive place. Things that bring me joy are: coffee in the morning, walking my dog, podcasts, learning, reading, writing, moving my body, journaling, and spending time with people I love.
Favorite meal-prep lunch?
My go to meal prep lunch is a loaded salad. I like salads because you can add a lot of variety and pack in all the macronutrients in one container. My favorite salad would be an iceberg lettuce base with roasted sweet potato, tofu, loads of whatever veggies you want, and a sesame ginger dressing.
Oh gosh, this is always changing for me. I LOVE podcasts so much. Right now my favorites are: Let it Out Podcast with Katie Dalebout, Almost30 with Krista Williams and Lindsey Simcik, Mind Body Green with Jason Wachob, Chasing Joy with Georgie Morley, Nourishing Women with Meg and Victoria and The Balanced Blonde with Jordan Younger.
What are you most excited about in your life?
This is a great question. I am excited to make a difference and impact people’s lives for the better. I’m also excited to travel more, learn more, write more, maybe start my own business, fall in love, have my own family, and tons of years spent laughing and being happy.
What are you most proud of?
I am most proud of my ability to live on my own (with dog and brother but no parents or help) starting at age 16. I’ve been able to train full time, do laundry, clean dishes, make dinners for us every night, cook for myself, be a good dog mom, manage our schedule, clean the house, and go to school all in a day while running my instagram and taking care of myself and all my mental ish.
I am also proud of the community we have on instagram, and it fills my heart every day to be part of this community of women supporting women.
Something you could tell your younger self?
“You are going to be okay and you are not alone. People may leave you, but it is not because you are not lovable. “
How to deal with weight gain in recovery?
I strongly encourage you to not step on a scale and also to ask yourself “why does the number matter?”. Because honestly, the number has zero relevance in your life at all. And if you don’t believe that, go about your day and see if anyone asks you how much you weigh or if your weight ever comes up in any regular encounter or daily activity (doctors appts and your own thoughts don’t count).
What do you want to achieve in skating?
Our biggest goal in skating is to represent the US in an international competition as part of Team USA.
Worst fall in skating?
Probably either the time where I slipped off my heel, hit my head, blacked out and got a concussion. Or the time where I fell on a twizzle, whipped my head back and strained my neck and couldn’t leave my bed for three days.
What is your major?
What things do you do to be inspired?
I love this question. I love to listen to music, read, write and find little things in everyday life to inspire me.
How did I approach exercise in recovery?
This was always a tough thing for me. I’ve always been an athlete so exercise is literally like food and water to my daily life. However, when I was in my depth of anorexia, I saw exercise in a way I never had before. I saw it as burning calories and since I never saw skating as that, I added extra stuff in before and after training. In recovery, I had to cut the extra exercise (aside from necessary training to continue my sport) out. I also even had to stop training a few times for safety reasons. I now am able to workout for fun when my body craves it and if I don’t want to, then I don’t.
What are some coping skills you use when your depression is at a high?
Call a friend/ family member, journal, get outside, get off social media and know that the universe has my back and I am not alone. When I feel like cutting, my top 3 coping mechanisms are to 1) journal, 2) call a friend/ my mom 3) draw on my wrists with a marker.
Hardest part about recovering from anorexia? Best part about recovery?
The hardest part about recovering was thinking I had to give up control. However, when I finally did let go of my strict rules around eating and exercise, I realized I never had control at all. It was always my eating disorder controlling me. The best part about recovery is being able to go to parties and enjoy myself, eating things I considered “off limit”, and just having more energy to be my happy self again.
Can you talk about leaving home to move to MI for skating?
Luke and I started skating together in our hometown, Louisville, Kentucky. Our club was small and did not have the same opportunities as most elite training centers do. We skated there for our entire career until we decided we needed to make a change if we really wanted to improve and get serious. Luke finished high school (I was already doing online school for skating) and literally the day after his graduation, we left Kentucky and our parents moved us into our new apartment in Michigan. Our parents stayed in Kentucky to work so Luke and I have our own apartment between school and skating (our apartment is paid for like school housing- we both attend college at EMU). Here we are so lucky to train with incredible Olympic coaches (our main coach, Marina Zoueva, is one of the most important people in the world to me. She is a genius, an amazing coach but also a really meaningful person in my life. She acts as a mother figure (never replacing my mom -she is the best ever hehe(:- and she cares about Luke and I like family. I am so grateful for her). We share the ice with olympians, world champions, national champions and also just anyone who has a passion for figure skating. We have incredible off ice trainers, ballroom teachers, ballet teachers, and modern dance teachers here. I definitely think the move has been so amazing for our skating and we’ve improved so much as skaters and as people because of it.
How long have you been skating? What got you started?
I started skating when I was three years old because my mom is a skating coach and director of the skating club in my hometown. She brought me to skating one day when the babysitter she hired for us wasn’t able to watch us and she had to take us to work. Luke and I started ice dancing when I was 10 and Luke was 11.
What is a story/ fact you’ve never told anyone?
Oh gosh, this is hard! I’m such an open book and I try to be pretty open on here and in general. I think one thing I don’t share very often because I am so embarrassed is how I test in school settings. I hate exams and ACTs and all of that stuff; and I have never ever scored well on standardized tests. My biggest desire is to be smart and for people to think I’m smart. I’ve always been goofy and bubbly and blonde and when I was younger, I never applied myself in school. I regret that. I am doing so much better in college, and I always did well with writing. I always felt like the only part of a test where I could breathe and relax was the short answer or essay questions because I can write. I don’t talk about this that much, but yeah I guess my biggest insecurity is my book-smarts.
How is your hair so amazing?
Ha, this is so nice. I do nothing to my hair. I’ve never died it, I don’t put product in it, and I usually can’t be bothered to even blow dry or brush it. Sometimes I straighten it and then I brush it. I usually only wash it 3 times a week so it doesn’t get too oily too fast. Yeah, that’s about it.
Do you track macros/ calories? If not, how did you move away from numbers and trust your body?
This is probably the hardest habit to break from my anorexia. Luckily, I never got too fixated on counted macros, but unfortunately, I have the calories of almost every food I’ve ever consumed (or not consumed) memorized. I do my best to not count my calories and focus my mind on what actually matters in nutrition and fueling my body which is where my food came from, the vitamins, minerals, macronutrients (not numbers, just knowing I’m getting it), and eating whole foods. I understand how hard it is to stop counting calories/ macros especially when they are programmed in our minds. My biggest tip would be to take the number you usually see when looking at a food and replace it with one or more benefits you can get from this food. For example, my brain has been programmed by my eating disorder to see an avocado and think 200 calories. However, over time I program it to see an avocado and think omega-3’s which aid in fighting inflammation. The only way to make the switch is to ignore the numbers and keep practicing focusing on the nutrients!
Dream job? What are you studying in school?
Such a fun question. Right now I’m taking Gen Ed classes (psychology, philosophy, sociology and writing). My dream job would be to write a book or open my own wellness center that has loads of different classes (I have a really detailed plan for this center but I don’t want anyone to do it before me! lol)
Favorite nonfiction book?
This is a hard one. Either The Universe Has your Back by Gabrielle Bernstein or Untethered Soul by Michael Singer.
Thank you so much to everyone who asked me questions! I had fun answering them and I hope you all enjoy reading. As always let me know what you think via instagram or email. Have an amazing rest of your week!