2018 Reflections and Lessons & Intentions for next year
2018 flew by for me. It started out rough, with Luke recovering from shoulder surgery and our training on hold until March. Since 2010, the longest time we’ve taken off of training together was maybe two weeks. His full recovery was six months. I felt like my life was on hold while I waited for him to recover. I can’t even imagine how hard it was for him, how painful, disappointing and agonizing this whole time was. But he came back stronger than I could have ever imagined, and I am so grateful. That season was one of the hardest seasons of my life. However, summer came and I can say with a smile on my face that this summer was one of the more fun seasons in my life. Then came the mellow feeling of fall. Beautiful, still, somber, normal. But at some point between fall and winter, I hit rock bottom. I think I could say this was my first rock bottom, and I am sure it won’t be my last. I have not shared much about this, but I plan to in the future. What I will say is that this rock bottom sparked some changes that I will be making in 2019. And this last month, December, has been a blessing from the Universe. It started off horrible. I had many nights where I really could not see a point of sticking around to even see 2019. Something had to change. Something did change. And I have grown more in this month than I have in a while and because of this, I can now see so much light in this year to come.
Lessons I Have Learned:
The Universe has my back.
There is always a plan and things always happen for a reason. Maybe things are out of my own control, but they are in the hands of the universe who truly is here to guide me along my best path (one with a lot of yellow flowers).
The energy you put out is what you attract
If you fear being alone more than anything, you will attract people who leave you because of the energy you put out in the world. I learned this the hard way this year and I am ready to put out my most loving and positive energy into the world and receive this in return.
Female Friendships are the best relationships
I was lucky enough to make some pretty freaking amazing girl friends this past year. These girls are there for me and know I am always there for them, even when they are physically far away. My girl friends are the absolute best because some nights they make me laugh so hard I pee my pants a little and then we laugh even harder at that. Other times we are all crying but it doesn’t feel as sad because we know we have each other.
Gratitude can be found even in the hardest times
Some days I do not want to wake up in the morning, but I know there is coffee, my puppy, and books to read and that is always enough.
Rock bottoms happen for a reason
Hitting a rock bottom means the only way out is by fixing something. Maybe it means totally getting rid of something or someone in your life. Maybe it just means changing something in yourself. But hitting rock bottom means it can’t really get any worse, so your only option is to make things better. That is a beautiful opportunity.
Things that Have Made Me Happy:
- Meditation- I use the unplug app and I love it.
- Almond Milk Collagen Iced Lattes
- Concerts/ Music Festivals- I saw Drake, Gucci Mane, Rex Orange County, Zhu, Sza all this year
- Podcasts- lately loving: Your Own Magic, Chasing Joy, Let it Out and The Good Life Project
- Journaling – I love using Let It Out by Katie Dalebout
- Going for Walks
- Movies -Lady Bird, Serendipity, Bohemian Rhapsody, Frances Ha
- Music -Louis The Child, Post Malone, Ariana Grande, Billie Eilish
- Mom jeans
- My dogs
- Spending time with my friends
- Workouts with our Trainer
Books I’ve Loved:
- The Nightingale -Kristin Hannah
- The Universe Has Your Back- Gabrielle Bernstein
- The Untethered Soul -Michael Singer
- Sharp Objects- Gillian Flynn
- Fried Green Tomatoes at The Whistle Stop Cafe- Fannie Flagg
- The Color Purple- Alice Walker
- The Woman In Cabin 10 -Ruth Ware
- Into the Water- Paula Hawkins
8 Words to Summarize my 2018:
- Rock Bottom
- Big Realizations
9 Words to I want to incorporate in 2019:
I want to feel the type of positivity that shines through my soul, like I am growing yellow flowers out of the crown of my head.
I want to continue to find inner peace by keeping up my daily meditation practice.
I want to be alone for a while and feel 100% full and enough on my own. No need for external validation.
I want to wake up in the morning with that feeling of butterflies and joy towards the day ahead of me.
I want my heart to feel full knowing I have such beautiful things in my life as: two sweet puppies, an amazing family, financial stability, yellow flowers, coffee, books, sunshine, friends, and writing.
I want to be in the moment, whatever it is; I am here now.
I want to feel loved. Maybe by friends. Maybe by a boy. But especially by myself.
I want to continue to be my real, raw, unfiltered self. Maybe people think I’m weird and people will judge me, but I think that is their own problem.
I want to start lots of new projects that excite me. I want to take photos and make videos and write more.
Books I Want to Read:
- Eat Pray Love -Elizabeth Gilbert
- Gone Girl -Gillian Flynn
- A Course In Miracles
- A Return to Love -Marianne Williamson
- (finish reading) Intuitive Eating- Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch
- Open Wide -Melissa Ambrosini
Things I Want to Do:
- I want to get into photography
- Go to the Wanderlust Festival in Snowshoe (giving my Mom tickets here for christmas!!)
- Travel – New York city, Punta Cana, Boston, Colorado, Washington DC, California, Sun Valley
- Write more -maybe publish my own book of poetry
- Get more of my writing published
- Grow my instagram following
- Possibly start vlogging
- Continue to meditate daily
- Get a job as a barista at a cute coffee shop
- Drink a lot of coffee
- Practice more intuitive eating
- Get into running outside
- Meet some of my favorite IG people (Georgie Morley, Katie Dalebout and Jordan Younger)
- Smile and laugh A LOT
Wishing you all the happiest of holidays and a beautiful start to 2019!