my love

I wish I had a way to tell you how much I love you. A way to thank you for saving my life. Those days where I lied on the ground, face in the carpet, tears streaming down my face for hours. No one could help me, no one even knew. But you quietly approached me, on those four little legs and sat right next to me. I know you knew Mama was hurting, because you didn’t leave. You wouldn’t leave. And I know you knew I needed you because you sat there, firm and patient and you did not leave until I pulled myself up off the ground and came with you. That wasn’t the only time you picked me up. You’re always picking me up.

Thank you for being my reason to wake up every morning. Of course, for obvious reasons like needing to get out of bed to take you to the bathroom and feed you, but also for actually being the reason I want to live. The thing that gave me hope in my absolute darkest times. I had days where I dreaded everything waiting for me outside of my bed, but I knew I had you and that is what kept me going.

I wish you could feel my heart swell up with love when I come home to you jumping for joy at my arrival. Or when your little brown eyes close when I scratch under your floppy ears. Or when you roll on your back when I’m petting you so I can rub your little baby belly. Sometimes when I hold you it takes everything in my power not to squeeze you with hugs. I hope you are as happy as I feel when I see your fluffy brown tail wagging faster and faster when you know mama has a treat. Most of all Phoebe, I hope you feel the love in your little heart that I feel everyday with you.

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